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Five Precautions in Training of Children – Shafqat Ali

Training children is a very sensitive and precautionary matter. This problem is exacerbated when parents adopt carelessness. The following is a description of what this carelessness is, how it occurs and how it is prevented:

1. Be Conscious, Not Over conscious:
Most of parents in our society are of two types: the ones who neglect children training (not conscious) and the others who are extra careful (over conscious). Careless parents take care of their children’s material needs but neglect their training due to their over busyness. They think it is the duty of expensive schools in which our child is studying. The second type of parents is those who make their children’s training a headache and get sick themselves. Such parents set unrealistic expectations from their children and make comparison between their children and other children. This attitude is dangerous not only for the health of parents but also for the health of children. The only solution to these two attitudes is moderation and realism.

2. Be Friendly, Not Frankly:
In our society, parents either use a very traditional way of dealing with their children, that is, they are harsh or coercive, or they are very flexible, that is, they become frank. The first attitude causes stubbornness and rebelliousness in children and the second one tarnishes your dignity in their eyes. Here, too, a moderate attitude is needed.

3. Avoid inconsistencies:
Training children is a matter of years, not days. How and what qualities to instil in a child, how to protect a child from evil, requires a thorough planning. But inconsistencies here ruin the whole training process.

4. Teach by character, not speech:
Training is not about giving speeches or lectures, but about inspiring children with your character, meaning children learn what you do and not what you say. If you want to inculcate a habit in children or save them from a bad habit, teach it through your character and not just by command.

5. First understand then explain:
We parents deal with children without knowing their feelings, emotions and individual differences which is very dangerous in the process of training. The second is that we understand that training is the name of making understand or giving advice. The point is, training is more about understanding the child than making him understand. When you understand the child, start listening to him carefully, half of the training process is completed.