Children: A Parent’s Greatest Asset
Children are the best asset of a human.Children are not just a continuation of one’s existence but also the focal point of their hopes and aspirations. Who among us can even imagine a bleak future for their offspring? However, a bright future for children cannot be achieved through mere wishes and dreams. It requires a clear and well-defined plan. Below is a concise guide that can make your children a source of comfort and pride in both this world and the Hereafter.
1) Good Thoughts, Good Life
Parents often focus on filling their children’s lives with joy, equating happiness with an abundance of material possessions. However, true happiness stems not from material things but from adopting a positive perspective on life. Challenges and adversities are inevitable in this world, and no amount of effort can completely shield your children from them.
What you can do is teach them to view life through a positive lens. Tell them that difficulties often give rise to the best of people, making hardships a blessing in disguise. These challenges refine abilities and become a means of earning God’s pleasure and ultimate rewards in the Hereafter. Teach your children to see struggles as opportunities, and they will embrace challenges that might otherwise overwhelm others.
2) Cultivating the Habit of Hard Work
Another invaluable trait to instill in children is the habit of hard work. Out of love, parents often try to make life easier for their children, but excessive pampering can make their future more difficult. Laziness cultivated during childhood leads to failure later in life, as success is only achieved through hard work. Even intelligence requires hardwork to shine.
As the saying goes:
“Genius is ninety percent perspiration and ten percent inspiration.”
From an early age, teach your children to engage in both mental and physical effort. Do not wait until they grow older, as habits formed in childhood are much easier to instill and harder to change later.
3) Your Child Learns from You
Children are natural imitators. They learn from you and the environment you provide. Thus, if you want them to embody certain values, you must live those values yourself and create an environment that reflects them. A child raised in a household where lies are common will not despise dishonesty merely because they are taught that it is wrong. They absorb what they experience firsthand.
In modern times, children often spend more time in front of the television than with their parents. Driven by its own interests, the media emphasizes romance, sensuality, and violence. If you leave your children to absorb unfiltered content, they are bound to be influenced by it. Similarly, subtle influences of foreign cultures can seep into your children through such channels. Therefore, it is essential that you take this matter seriously. Your seemingly harmless desire for easy entertainment can darken both the worldly and after lives of your children. Therefore, it would be better if you limit yourself and your children to only those aspects of the media that are related to knowledge and wholesome entertainment, and do not allow them to go beyond this limit.
4) Direct Communication and Personal Attention
Gone are the days when children could grow up independently. Today, every child needs personal attention. Despite your efforts, societal evils will inevitably reach your children. It is your personal relationship with them that can shield them from harmful influences.
Build a friendly bond and engage in open dialogue with your children. Discuss topics honestly, addressing any inappropriate practices by explaining how they conflict with religious and traditional values. Without this guidance, children will turn to misinformed peers or inappropriate sources to satisfy their curiosity, leading to confusion and potential misguidance.
5) Shaping Their Mindset
As Muslims, it is our responsibility to instill fundamental concepts of faith in our children:
- This world has a Creator.
- He has sent messengers to guide humanity.He has sent His messengers for our guidance. His guidance is present before us in the form of religion.
- We will one day be held accountable for our actions before Him.
- Those with good deeds will enter Paradise, and those with bad deeds will face Hell.
It is also the responsibility of parents to make good moral values, such as modesty, trustworthiness, honesty, justice, and other similar qualities, a part of their children’s character. Likewise, resolving matters through discussion, and reaching the truth through investigation rather than relying on hearsay, are qualities of a noble human being.
Since children learn from observation, you must model these values. Demonstrate the virtues you want them to adopt, as children mirror the behavior they see in their parents.
6) Quality Education and Cultivation
In addition to moral and religious training, ensure your children receive an education that aligns with their aptitude. A quality education does not necessarily mean enrolling them in expensive schools but ensuring that they master their curriculum.
Even a modest public-school curriculum can be excellent if it is taught and learned thoroughly. Take an active interest in their education and test their understanding in various way.
The system of rote learning, under which children’s abilities are assessed here, is highly ineffective in practical life and is completely unhelpful in developing real capabilities in children. Whether it is education or training, knowledge should become a part of the child’s personality and experiences, not just their memory. When knowledge becomes a part of the child’s personality and experiences, it shapes a particular kind of taste. When you choose higher education for your child, it should depend on the child’s own interests, not the financial benefits of a profession. Young people who pursue education according to their own tastes always excel in their field. This expertise and passion in their craft not only shield them from financial problems but also provide them with mental peace through their work. This mental peace is the true wealth of a person.
7) Supporting New Families
Parents’ ultimate responsibility is to establish a home for their children. Unfortunately, in our society, there is no proper training for young boys and girls regarding this matter. If any training does take place, it is usually through the media, where a beautiful young woman or handsome man is portrayed as an ideal. Moreover, due to economic issues, the age for marriage has risen significantly. Because of these reasons, young people only associate marriage with the physical union of two bodies. What is a family? Why does it exist? What are the responsibilities of each party involved? We fail to guide our children on these and other important matters.
In our society, the concept of marriage is simply that when a child becomes capable of earning, they are married off to a girl with wealth and beauty. Once the girl enters the house, the domestic politics and injustices begin, which even international politicians can’t handle. As a result, these untrained and sheltered young people spend their early years of marriage in turmoil and distress. Eventually, they get used to these conditions and start treating their own children in even worse ways than they were treated.
Therefore, it is essential that parents support their children thoroughly before and after the formation of a family. They should consider the children’s preferences when forming a family. Instead of focusing on material qualities in choosing a spouse, they should prioritize the strong and lasting foundations of character and morals. When forming a new family, it must always be kept in mind that as a result, a son is added to one family, and a daughter to the other. This is a win-win situation, where no one loses, and everyone benefits. Only in this way can a new family take a stable shape, creating a nurturing environment for the proper upbringing of future generations.
If you implement these principles, your children are likely to become valuable and proud members of both your family and society. Additionally, never cease praying for their guidance and success, as prayer is the believer’s most potent weapon.
Recite this prayer often:
رَبَّنَا ھَبْ لَنَا مِنْ اَزْوَاجِنَاوَ ذُرِّیّٰتِنَا قُرَّۃَ أَعْيُنٍ وَّا جْعَلْنَا لِلْمُتَّقِینَ اِمَاماََ
“Our Lord! Bless us with ˹pious˺ spouses and offspring who will be the joy of our hearts, and make us models for the righteous.”
Ameen.
Translated by Taqi Ahmed